Friday, July 11, 2014

Things that sucked then, but made me stronger today

Happy, Happy Friday!!

I started my day off bright and early with a 5:30 a.m run. I did about 3 miles and I'm very proud of myself for waking up early these past two days to do this. Now, I'm not the fastest runner yet, but I'm doing it and that's all that matters.



I also have been walk at least 10,000 steps per day. Because of my run, I was more than halfway to my goal before 6:30 a.m.



The reason I love running is because it's the only time where I really am to myself and my thoughts. I was thinking today while I was running about why I am the person I am today. Why do I feel the need to wake up at 5:00 in the morning to run? What do I have to prove?

I am who I am today because of what I struggled through in the past.

  • I grew up with an older brother. He is 4 years older than me. I am a strong person who takes criticism lightly because of how often my brother would call me names. I am also literally a stronger person because of how often we got into wrestling matches. Drew will tell you today that he thinks I could definitely take out a guy if needed.
  • I remember trying out for the volleyball team in middle school. I didn't make the cut. I think the coaches thought I was too out of shape and had no self-control because of how big I was. So I became the manager. I remember one practice none of the girls were getting their serve's over the net. Coach said "If Renae makes her serve over the net, she is on the team and taking one of your starting positions." And guess what, I made it over the net. Why? Because I worked hard, because I wanted it so bad. My coaches later named me one of the MVP's. What I learned from that experience is that sometimes people are quick to assume that you're not good enough. I've learned to not let things get me down, but instead learn how to grow from those experiences. I've learned that not one person can tell me that I'm not good enough for something, because I can and will prove them wrong. I'm a hard-worker and strive for success because of this volleyball experience.
  • I remember always wanting a boyfriend but because I was a big girl and in middle school/high school, guys we're very shallow and therefore, didn't want to date me. Instead I was every guys best friend. Once I lost weight, I got a lot of attention from those guys that didn't dare date me when I was big. So now, I won't just say yes to any guy. They have to earn my trust. I have to see what kind of person they are and they need to see what kind of person I am. I need to know that they love me for who I am not how I look. And that is why I'm with the love of my life, Andrew. He accepts me for me. He loves who I am inside and out. 
  • In band I sometimes felt picked on by the director. I also felt that he didn't take me serious because of my weight. I walked into band class late one day. He was talking to the entire band about me, I didn't know that until later. So when he asked us not to wear jewelry to the parade, what did I do? I freakin' work the earring to my tragus piercing. And of course he saw it, and hated it, and thought I was being rebellious. And guess what! I was being rebellious. No one is going to walk all over me, treat me like a horrible person and then try to tell me what I can't do. If you tell me I can't do something, then I will do it. I don't take crap from anyone, especially when I didn't deserve it in the first place.
  • When I was in middle school, my home flooded. My family does not have a lot of money so this was especially devastating to us. We didn't know what to do or how we were going to start rebuilding.  The thing that we lost that hurt the most was our pictures...our memories. I now make sure to cherish things I love each and every day, you never know when you will lose them.
  • I lost my best friend to a tragic accident a few years ago. I've learned to live and love life. She was so bright, optimistic, full of energy, and loved to live life like it was her last day. I've learned to not take things so seriously. I've learned to truly embrace the things life has to offer and to take advantage of each and every day. Again, you never know when it's your time to go, so make sure you are happy and at peace when that time comes.

And this is why I love running. Where have these thoughts been hiding all of this time?

I can't wait to discover more about myself through running.