R.I.P

I was looking online to find an article on dream interpretation. I wanted to know what it meant to dream about the deceased and what Kelsey was trying to tell me. But I found nothing that satisfied me. Just weird ghost stories and people being haunted...but I wasn't being haunted by Kelsey, it was something much more significant than that. Lets start off from the beginning...

Kelsey and I went to the same elementary, middle and high school. She was literally "my ride or die chick." We didn't really get close until high school,but thats when we became inseparable. We had many laughs, many stories, and many hilarious times. She was the person that really taught me that it's okay to be yourself. I decided one day to tell her to come live with me because we always had so much fun and she was practically over all of the time anyways. So she did. A couple of months later she met her boyfriend Sal. A couple of months after that I met my boyfriend Andrew. We all got along very well until randomly things started changing; our friendship started changing. The boys would always get in to it with each other, and it got so bad that it eventually caused Drew and I to move out before my lease was up. We found a new place and I didn't hear from Kelsey again.

One night I had a dream that Kelsey had died. That I got the call that my best friend had died. It was a tragic dream. The next day, I was home alone as I am now, I knew that I had to call Kelsey and checkup up on her and try to rekindle our friendship. I was nervouse but I dialed her number because it was no longer saved in my phone book. I called...she didn't answer. I knew that I would probably never talk to her again. But about 30 minutes later I got a call back from her. I was ecstatic but didnt know how the phone call would go. I began with a.... "Kelsey?" and she said..."is this Renae." I began by asking her how shes been telling her what I was up to. We said our sorry's and how things shouldn't have ended like that. We ended with a promise to meet up the next day.

I woke up in the morning excited to know that later on I'd be seeing Kelsey again. We were supposed to go swimming. I called and her phone was off. So I did the unthinkable and went to her mom's house where her stepdad answered. He said she wasn't home. DANGIT! How was I gonna get ahold of her. Later on that night I got a text from her saying that her mom didn't want me randomly stopping by her house. I said okay I understand. I called her and thats when things turned for the worse. She said she didn't think she could be friends with me ever again and that how our friendship ended was so horrible that she didnt want to talk to me again. I told her "You talked to Sal didn't you" "and he told you not to talk to me"...she didn't answer. And that was the last time I heard from her again.

About a month later after I had my dream that she had died, my boyfriend got a call from a mutual friend of Drew, Kelsey, and I that Kelsey had died. I thought I was still in a dream and took a while to hit me. It actually didn't hit me until I looked at my phone and had 8 missed calls and 6 text messages from friends claiming that Kelsey had died. I had to see for myself. I asked my friend Angela if I could login to her facebook to see Kelseys page. And thats when it all hit me. I broke into tears. This couldn't have been happening. WHYYYY????

I found out Kelsey died a tragic death. It was January 1st, 2012. Kelsey was with her family for most of the night but Kelsey, Sal and her brother decided to leave for a party. At the end of the night, apparently Kelsey and Sal were left rideless and kickded out of the party. They began walking and wanted to get to southpark meadows in Austin Texas. The only way to get there was to cross I-35. And they did, except Kelsey didn't make it across. She was struck by a vehicle in the northbound center lane. Sal made it across. The drive kept going and didn't stop.

I am so upset because Sal has given 3 different stories about what happened. The driver of the car was eventually caught. He claims that he only saw Sal in the far right lane and swerved to miss him. Thats when he struck Kelsey in the middle lane who was already bent over on her knees. WHAT HAPPENED?? Why would Kelsey already be on the ground and Sal was able to make it? I have so many questions I want answered. I think thats why I had the dream.

I dreamt that I was in a cafeteria with a bunch of friends when I saw someone in the corner of my eye that looked like Kelsey. I couldn't help it but had to keep looking. It was her...but I couldn't believe it. My friends turned to see what I was looking at, and they yelled "It's Kelsey." They could see her too. She was sitting down eating too. She was sitting a cross from a boy around her age. They were eating their food but not saying anything. My friends kept saying go say something to her, its Kelsey, why won't you go to her. I broke down crying, hard. I hear, "Renae?" I look and its Kelsey standing by us all. I said "but I thought you were...." she nodded " I am" She asked if I wanted to go to her place, confused I looked at my boyfriend Andrew and he nodded saying this is Real. We went to her place. It looked like a dorm room almost. It was all white except for what Kelsey was wearing...her black muscle shirt and a pair of shorts. Its what she wore all the time. She began scrubbing her floor, confused, I started scrubbing with her. I asked her if she was okay she said she felt great. I told her I was sorry and she just wanted to forget about the past. She told me she was very happy and in a great place. I noticed she a large lump on her head and a scar going from her throat down her shirt towards her belly button. It appeared to be fresh. I touched it and asked does it hurt...she smiled and said nothing hurts. Not knowning what it was in my dream then, I told a couple of people about it and they say it was probably her autopsy cut. I asked if she minded telling me what happened. She didnt tell me how it happened but explained how she got hit. She said she got hit head first and flew 15 feet away. But she reminded me that she does not hurt again...Thats when I woke up.

I woke up with dried tears running down my face. But I also had a sense of relief. I felt like we resolved our differences...but I was still left with wondering what really happened and why Kelsey was already on the ground. Now, I only wait for her to come back to my dreams. I know she wanted to tell me something. Kelsey, when you're ready, I'll be hear listening.

-Renae