R.I.P

I was looking online to find an article on dream interpretation. I wanted to know what it meant to dream about the deceased and what Kelsey was trying to tell me. But I found nothing that satisfied me. Just weird ghost stories and people being haunted...but I wasn't being haunted by Kelsey, it was something much more significant than that. Lets start off from the beginning...

Kelsey and I went to the same elementary, middle and high school. She was literally "my ride or die chick." We didn't really get close until high school,but thats when we became inseparable. We had many laughs, many stories, and many hilarious times. She was the person that really taught me that it's okay to be yourself. I decided one day to tell her to come live with me because we always had so much fun and she was practically over all of the time anyways. So she did. A couple of months later she met her boyfriend Sal. A couple of months after that I met my boyfriend Andrew. We all got along very well until randomly things started changing; our friendship started changing. The boys would always get in to it with each other, and it got so bad that it eventually caused Drew and I to move out before my lease was up. We found a new place and I didn't hear from Kelsey again.

One night I had a dream that Kelsey had died. That I got the call that my best friend had died. It was a tragic dream. The next day, I was home alone as I am now, I knew that I had to call Kelsey and checkup up on her and try to rekindle our friendship. I was nervouse but I dialed her number because it was no longer saved in my phone book. I called...she didn't answer. I knew that I would probably never talk to her again. But about 30 minutes later I got a call back from her. I was ecstatic but didnt know how the phone call would go. I began with a.... "Kelsey?" and she said..."is this Renae." I began by asking her how shes been telling her what I was up to. We said our sorry's and how things shouldn't have ended like that. We ended with a promise to meet up the next day.

I woke up in the morning excited to know that later on I'd be seeing Kelsey again. We were supposed to go swimming. I called and her phone was off. So I did the unthinkable and went to her mom's house where her stepdad answered. He said she wasn't home. DANGIT! How was I gonna get ahold of her. Later on that night I got a text from her saying that her mom didn't want me randomly stopping by her house. I said okay I understand. I called her and thats when things turned for the worse. She said she didn't think she could be friends with me ever again and that how our friendship ended was so horrible that she didnt want to talk to me again. I told her "You talked to Sal didn't you" "and he told you not to talk to me"...she didn't answer. And that was the last time I heard from her again.

About a month later after I had my dream that she had died, my boyfriend got a call from a mutual friend of Drew, Kelsey, and I that Kelsey had died. I thought I was still in a dream and took a while to hit me. It actually didn't hit me until I looked at my phone and had 8 missed calls and 6 text messages from friends claiming that Kelsey had died. I had to see for myself. I asked my friend Angela if I could login to her facebook to see Kelseys page. And thats when it all hit me. I broke into tears. This couldn't have been happening. WHYYYY????

I found out Kelsey died a tragic death. It was January 1st, 2012. Kelsey was with her family for most of the night but Kelsey, Sal and her brother decided to leave for a party. At the end of the night, apparently Kelsey and Sal were left rideless and kickded out of the party. They began walking and wanted to get to southpark meadows in Austin Texas. The only way to get there was to cross I-35. And they did, except Kelsey didn't make it across. She was struck by a vehicle in the northbound center lane. Sal made it across. The drive kept going and didn't stop.

I am so upset because Sal has given 3 different stories about what happened. The driver of the car was eventually caught. He claims that he only saw Sal in the far right lane and swerved to miss him. Thats when he struck Kelsey in the middle lane who was already bent over on her knees. WHAT HAPPENED?? Why would Kelsey already be on the ground and Sal was able to make it? I have so many questions I want answered. I think thats why I had the dream.

I dreamt that I was in a cafeteria with a bunch of friends when I saw someone in the corner of my eye that looked like Kelsey. I couldn't help it but had to keep looking. It was her...but I couldn't believe it. My friends turned to see what I was looking at, and they yelled "It's Kelsey." They could see her too. She was sitting down eating too. She was sitting a cross from a boy around her age. They were eating their food but not saying anything. My friends kept saying go say something to her, its Kelsey, why won't you go to her. I broke down crying, hard. I hear, "Renae?" I look and its Kelsey standing by us all. I said "but I thought you were...." she nodded " I am" She asked if I wanted to go to her place, confused I looked at my boyfriend Andrew and he nodded saying this is Real. We went to her place. It looked like a dorm room almost. It was all white except for what Kelsey was wearing...her black muscle shirt and a pair of shorts. Its what she wore all the time. She began scrubbing her floor, confused, I started scrubbing with her. I asked her if she was okay she said she felt great. I told her I was sorry and she just wanted to forget about the past. She told me she was very happy and in a great place. I noticed she a large lump on her head and a scar going from her throat down her shirt towards her belly button. It appeared to be fresh. I touched it and asked does it hurt...she smiled and said nothing hurts. Not knowning what it was in my dream then, I told a couple of people about it and they say it was probably her autopsy cut. I asked if she minded telling me what happened. She didnt tell me how it happened but explained how she got hit. She said she got hit head first and flew 15 feet away. But she reminded me that she does not hurt again...Thats when I woke up.

I woke up with dried tears running down my face. But I also had a sense of relief. I felt like we resolved our differences...but I was still left with wondering what really happened and why Kelsey was already on the ground. Now, I only wait for her to come back to my dreams. I know she wanted to tell me something. Kelsey, when you're ready, I'll be hear listening.

-Renae

Update

Unfortunately I did not do the programs correctly because I forgot to print out the exercises and the right way to do it. So I just did the elliptical for 30 minutes on level 6 resistance while watching jersey shore. Then I proceeded to do the same thing I did yesterday to see what more I could pull out...and I did better on all of the programs than I did yesterday. So here are the results for day 1.

8 Dips                -Up 2
15 Pushups        -Up 3
40 Squats           -Up 5
30 Situps            -Up 5

Go Me! Go Me! Go Me! Go Me!

So I really can't wait to do the unthinkable in 6 weeks. If I follow this program I should be able to do 100 pushups consecutively, 150 dips consecutively, 200 situps consecutively, and 200 squats consecutively. You know how awesome I'll look if I keep it up. Ahhhh just thinking about it makes me super excited

squats, pushups, dips, situps

Yesterday I did very good working out. I can use a little help on eating but will work on that. I ran 2 miles yesterday at lunch followed by squats, dips, pushups, and situps. I'm starting those programs and so far my numbers are as followed:

Squats: 35
Pushups: 12
Dips: 6
Situps: 25

I will keep updating as I go so that you can know if this program works or not. Your supposed to skip days but I'm not today because that was only the initial test yesterday. I am gonna go ahead and start week 1 today.

I need to get more pictures up for you guys. That will be my goal...It always makes blogs a lot more interesting when there's a picture, don't ya think?

Will post update later.

Austin Outlaw Dash

                                                      

I'm excited to announce that I have officially signed up for my next race. I need something to get my butt back into gear. I've always wanted to do a mudrun, and now that I've got the money to do so, I've signed myself up. So what does that mean for me? TRAINING! Not only running, but lifting weights, going to zumba and attending crossfit classes. I cannot wait to start. I cann't be lazy anymore. Yesterday I could have very well went and got ready for Zumba, but what did I do? Walked to the vending machine, got a soda, and made myself a mixed drink, followed by a call to PapaJohns for a large pizza.

 So time to "update" my lifestyle and get my body in sync with what my mind wants. Today I will start the 100 pushups program back up as well as the 200 squats program. And while I'm at it...why not try the 200 situps program.

I want to feel strong mentally and physically. I want to refuse that cookie when offered.


                 SAY NO TO COOKIES

Quick Update

Getting things together...or at least I hope so. Yesterday, I worked out during lunch. My lunch is only 30 minutes but I was able to do the elliptical for 20 minutes and then did 60 crunches on the big bouncy medicine? balls... i think thats what you call them. After work I decided to wash clothes. I put in the clothes and went for a run around manchaca. I just about died because it has been forever since I've attempted to run outside in this hot Texas heat. But I did, and I'm happy that I did. I think it was about 20 minutes of running. At least it's better than nothing. On the downside, I went straight home and ordered papa johns pizza. I had two slices and poured that garlic sauce all over it. Way to go Renae. ;] haha. I don't think of it as a loss, it's something I'm probably never gonna take out of my diet, so I have to learn to work off what I eat, not just not eat it and deprive myself. Because real quickly those 2 slices could turn into the entire box. ha...I don't think I could ever do that, even when I was at my biggest.

Today's plans--

Go grocery shopping (which I'm dreading today) normally I love grocery shopping. I don't know why. I guess I pretend like it's clothes and get to get whatever I want because Andrew doesn't go shopping with me.

Afterwards I'll probably make some food. I was thinking a chicken pot pie, but it requires too much time on my end...not really, i'm just being lazy. Viola pasta bag it is.

If I get home and Drew is already home then we may just go tubing and I can skip the above. I'm really hoping that's what happens.

If we don't go tubing or somewhere else, then after cooking I'll paint my toe-sies because it's very much needed. Maybe I can get in some type of workout. I'll look on netflix for a yoga exercise or something. I need it with my unflexible ass.

Alcohol may or may not be included in my plans today...I'm gonna take a wild guess and say no.

Studying is in the books today...hah no pun intended.

I need to clean, but i'll save that for tomorrow or Sunday.

Tomorrow is my black family's reunion. OOHHHH looorddd. that'll be a hoot.

Oh and soon i'll be signing up for the Muddy Outlaw Dash. I'm pretty excited about it. I just have to beat this Texas Heat and continue to run.

I read these peoples blogs, almost on the daily now. I'm addicted, but obviously they are too. I wished I had the time and dedication to post something everyday and make my profile look professional. But I don't. My life is really hectic right about now. Plus, I tried to buy a memory card converter for my camera so that I can upload pictures easier, but for some reason it is not working on my computer.

Anyways, I guess I'll start with my 4th of July events. I thought it was gonna be a lazy day around the house, but it turned out to be a very great day/night. We started off tubing in San Marcos. It was me, Andrew, his best friend Andres, My best friend Alexis, and our friend from elementary school Monica. And you already know that's a day in itself. We drank our beers and proceeded to float down the river. By the time it was time to stand up to get out of the river, most of us had a struggle attempting to get out. But we made it, where it was our mission to find FREE beer. That's when I saw my good friend Eddy, whom I haven't seen in over two years. He reminded me of a bunch of good times we all used to have. Especially the good times we had with our good friend Kelsey who died on the 1st of this year. It was so good to reminisce about the past. We played washers with them. Both Drew and I have a very competitive edge and were always trying to beat each other at everything. And of course he beat me, 10 to 4. WOWW Renae, really. :] It was so hot outside and you know you get hungry after swimming so we all came to my house where we decided to make chicken alfredo for the whole crew. Besides the kitchen flooding and the house almost catching on fire, it came out great.

We ended up going to buy fireworks. I didn't go to the stand with the boys, but when they came back, they had $100 worth of fireworks! Are you serious, thats almost the price of a new coach bag, but it was worth it. We ended up going to another friends of ours, and of course it was his parents house. Drew decides to light the 100 firecrackers and all hell broke loose. Ms. Patt came outside yelling "who in the hell told you you can pop fireworks outside my house, you better go on somewhere else with that $*#!." haha I love her though. She keeps it real. We ended up leaving the back of her house, and finished them off in the front, nearly escaping the cops. We all had to run as fast as we could to the back of the house. Made it just in time

So today is National Fried Chicken Day. And my coworkers and myself have decided we will honor this great day with some Popeyes chicken for lunch. I cannot wait. I am starvinggggg.